Delete my number from your phone and
the best of luck with your life. Stop
-Text to Saoirse from Dolores' phone, December 7, 2009, following Saoirse's visit four days earlier
[Editor's note: The copy of Ethan's correspondence provided to Dolores-Maxwell.com is of such poor quality that we present a letter-by-letter transcription here for clarity's sake. Interested parties are free to request an image of our copy via email. The numerous spelling and grammar issues are contained in the original.]
Re: Visit by officer from Bray Garda Station
With regard to a visit to my home at [address redacted], Bray, at approx. 1:00am today, 04.12.09, I wish to express the following.
On 03.12.09, my mother Dolores Maxwell booked a taxi in [location redacted] to take to take her to the local train station, from where she was to take the train at 18:00 to Bray. I was to collect her from Bray station at 20:05.
At about 18:15 on 03.12.09, my mother telephoned me to say that my sister Saoirse had arrived to my mother's home at about 16:00. My mother found herself in a difficult situation and did not say to my sister that she had arranged to travel to Bray. However, my mother cancelled the taxi booking.
I was concerned for my mother, as for some time she had feared Saoirse at her home looking for money, as she has employment financial. My mother feels that she can't help her financially as she, my mother, has to be cautious at this stage of her life and at the same time does not want her children to have a financial dependence on her. She has 10 children.
During conversations with my mother after being told that Saoirse was at her home, I expressed that I would drive down to Rosslare and drive my mother back to Bray with me. She was happy to come to Bray, as she often does.
On arriving to my mother's home, [address redacted], I apologised to my mother for the delay in arriving and expressed that we would need to leave soon as the temperature was low and I was concerned about icy roads on the return journey.
When I arrived, my mother expressed that she had an appointment with a Doctor early today. My sister continuously questioned her about the appointment and insisted on accompanying my mother to the Doctor. My mother explained that she did not need anyone to accompany her to the Doctor. Saoirse, during my time at my mother's house interrogated my mother regarding the alleged appointment.
My mother at no stage has really ever had anyone go to the Doctor with her. She's a very independent woman. I went only once with her to her GP when her arthritis was severe and there was the suggestion of possible hip replacement.operation.
My mother likes to make her own decisions and if ever she is not capable of doing such, has advised her solicitor and completed the requisite terms for a non-family member independent person(s) to act on her behalf if she ever became mentally incapable.
After much tension at my mother's home, I stated clearly to Saoirse that she was not to enter my car. She disregarded my request and in response I threatened to call the Gardai if she did not stop trying to enter my car. At this point she telephoned the Gardai. Between one thing and another and having explained to Saoirse that she would not be coming to Bray, as I stated that I had lodgers at home and there was no room for her.
Apart from what I saw as badgering of my mother by my sister, no consideration was given to my authority over my car or my home. I find it disgusting to have to resort to threatening my sister with calling the Gardai for not respecting my wishes regarding my property, car, and home. Saoirse during her emergency call attempted to humiliate and slander me merely because I stood my ground with regard to my mother's decision-making and my property.
During the visit to my home from your officer, both my mother and I explained our concerns regarding my sister. My mother happily comes to Bray, she selectively answers her telephone, as it is her prerogative and, like me, does not appreciate being pushed and bullied by Saoirse.
I request that your officers caution Saoirse with regard to my entitlement to deny her access to my car or home. Should such a situation recur I will capture the event on my mobile and seek prosecution for trespass or otherwise. I specifically do not permit her to enter my car at any stage nor to pass over the threshold of my home. I want my authority over my property to be respected.
I would be obliged if you would fax this letter to your colleagues at Wexford Garda Station for addressing with urgency. For your won information, I never answer calls from withheld numbers.
Regards, (Ethan's signature)
I am of the opinion that the above accurately reflects the events at my home yesterday and at Ethan's today 04.12.09
Like Ethan, Saoirse was also compelled to write about her visit with her mom. She wrote to the Bray Gardai, Wexford Gardai, Rosslare Gardai, the HSE, Dolores' GP, and Dolores' priest after she returned home.
The next day she visited Dolores' priest, and the offices of Dolores' GP.
Following is her letter to the Bray Garda Station, and is fairly typical of her other letters at this time:
[address redacted], Co. Galway
E-mail: [address redacted]
[phone number redacted]
MOB: [number redacted]
Dec. 8, 2009
Wexford Garda Station
Re: Request for help Thursday Dec. 3, 2009/Dolores Maxwell, [location redacted]
My name is Saoirse Maxwell. I am the eldest daughter of Mrs. Dolores Maxwell of [address redacted], in Co. Wexford. I just wanted to thank the guards who responded to my call for assistance on Thursday. Both Wexford Gardai and Bray Gardai were able to respond and coordinate efforts, ensuring my mother was safe from Rosslare to Wexford to Bray. Many thanks for all your efforts.
I remain absolutely petrified about the safety of my elderly mother. I am being prevented from spending time with my mother alone, and I fear for her health and safety. I also have eight other siblings who are encountering the same problem many of whom would be happy to back up my story. My mother's mobile doesn't seem to work, in fact appears to be switched off constantly. I believe my youngest brother, Ethan Maxwell, [address redacted], Bray, Co. Wicklow, MOB: [number redacted], Car registration: [number redacted], Metallic Gray, Toyota, is preventing her from answering her phones or responding to other family members.
The bottom line is, I want to be able to spend some time with my mother. Eldest daughter, sharing a chat over tea. My siblings and I are being prevented from doing so by Ethan's actions.
I would like to outline what took place last Thursday when I tried to visit with my mother, have a cup of tea, and maybe head out to lunch on the Friday. Yes, I did not have an appointment. Nor did I contact Ethan to ensure I could do so, as this appears to be the pattern that must be followed in order to meet with my mother. This is not at my mother's behest nor has he been given custody of my mother because of any incapacity on my mother's part. My mother's only problem is that she seems to be under his control and unable to live her life independently. She is being bullied and overpowered by his size, pushing and grabbing her by the arms. This I witnessed this past Thursday night. This has gotten worse since my father died in 2008.
I have been unable to reach my mother via both phones for some months now. In touch with other siblings I also learned they were encountering the same problem. My younger sister (Sophie) [medical issue redacted] and just wanted to chat with her mother. While I could offer support, being a [medical issue redacted] survivor myself and also a sort of mother figure to my youngest sister, I wasn't her mother. She too was unable to reach her mother. Things now appear to be okay medically wise for her but I am concerned that Sophie too is also having a problem reaching our mother. I decided to try and locate my mother, share a cup of tea and chat carefully with her, after she felt safe.
Here is what took place last Thursday:
I left Connemara around 4:45 am to get the 5:30 am bus up to Dublin. I had tried calling my mother's two phones with no response for several days. I believed my mother was at Ethan's in Bray. This address and his mobile number have been kept secret from the remaining family members ensuring he can keep her under his guard – even from Bray to Rosslare. I arrived after several hours to the house in [location redacted], and knocked on the door several times. She wasn't there.
I was then able to contact the brother that lives in Rosslare, Ronan. He advised me she was heading for a blood test and I couldn't talk to her until 1 PM. However, it was only 10 am and I was curious why the length of wait. I was also worried that if Ethan were there with her I was again being prevented from seeing her. I ended up being able to get the doctor's name, [name and address redacted] in Rosslare. I called to confirm my mother was scheduled to visit and that this wasn't another prevention tactic. She was due. I left my number explaining I couldn't reach her and was worried.
I went about heading to Rosslare from Bray, eventually catching a bus by Loughlinstown Hospital. I walked down from Tagoat, to the Londis in the Strand and picked up some milk, soup, biscuits and cheese to share with my mom for supper. I got to her house shortly after 5 PM. Yes; she was surprised to see me. She was crying although blamed it on sinus problems. I told her about the phone problems and how I'd been worried and how the others hadn't been able to get a hold of her. She blamed it on faulty phones, a line I've heard for years now. She asked me how long I was staying and I said I had a few days that I wanted to spend time with her, head to lunch and help out if she needed and wanted it. She said she was planning on heading to Dublin on Saturday and we agreed we'd go up together, me helping her with bringing up some Christmas presents she wanted to drop off at a few spots. I told her we could then have our time on Friday, do lunch, help out and whatever else she needed.
Ronan then arrived. Shortly thereafter my mother's mobile which had been silent started to ring. Ronan's mobile also began ringing and he was busy texting back and forth with Ethan, as he told me later. Suddenly even the landline worked. My mother went upstairs several times to chat with Ethan, I learned. I couldn't hear the conversation but I could hear the tone of her voice that seemed to change from cajoling to resignation to brief anger at one point. I stopped in to see her when I headed to the toilet and she was crying. Although again she blamed it on sinus problems. She seemed shaken but okay. We watched the news and chatted, all while the phones continued their buzzing and Ronan continued texting with someone. At the same time he was trying to find out who my landlord was, where I worked and more and I knew he was trying to find information for Ethan. Ronan is a simple man, but harmless and extremely kind and compassionate.
We chatted and sometime after the news I heard a car door slamming outside the front door. The hall door burst open and Ethan flung it against the phone table, leaving it open and yelling it was 3 degrees outside and yelling at my mother to move it and come on. He was tired and they had a physiotherapy appointment in Dublin at 8:30 am the following day with his doctor. He said it was 3 degrees outside and he was very worried about black ice and it was dangerous driving outside. He wanted to get on the road before it got much worse as he also didn't like driving at night. My mother never mentioned the doctor's visit, and I asked who and where and that I'd be glad to accompany them and perhaps afterwards my mom and I could do lunch. Ethan was having none of it. He went on a tirade that included yelling in my face, shouting very vulgar and obscene things, bulking his body against mine and trying to use his body and loud voice to intimidate me. I kept calm throughout just saying I wanted to see my mother and have a cup of tea and chat.
He also worked his rage on my mother and Ronan in the exact same way. At one point my mother explained she wanted to just have some peace and quiet. For some reason he is able to control her and the only way she gains inner strength is to be away from him. Just that short visit with me allowed her to tell him she wanted peace and quiet.
They decided I needed to have somewhere to stay because I couldn't stay in Ethan's. He said he had boarders living in his house with him. I had no problem with that and in fact said I'd just go up with them and find somewhere and would meet them at the doctor's in the morning. Ethan became even angrier saying I couldn't and even when I said I wanted to attend for support he said no way I was going. My mom said she'd be alright but he was speaking for her the entire time. Long and short of it was the bags were quickly packed, mention was made of my mother's medications and whether she had them on hand. She wasn't sure. Ethan brushed her off saying they could always get more in Dublin. That it didn't matter. She said she'd had a problem before with not being able to get a refill while she still had a current prescription. He said not to worry, he'd take care of it.
The car was loaded up and he began turning off lights etc. He was pushing my mom towards the doorway, which had been open a good 20 mins at this point, and had my mom's coat in his arms. He wouldn't give it to her, saying she would be warm enough in the car. But I told him she still had to go out in the cold to get to the car. He bundled her into in. My mom has arthritis in her shoulders, and pretty much throughout her body. That didn't seem to concern him as he bundled and pushed her into it. Mom and I headed to the car. She said she and I could sit in the back and chat. There were some bags in the way and I started to move them into the front to get her in out of the cold. Ethan dashed over, pushed my mother away and yelled she was to sit in the front, he was not a taxi driver. Then he blocked me from entering the car saying I couldn't get into his car. He then threatened to call the Gardai. I told him it was okay; I would and proceeded to do so.
I spoke with I believe the Wexford Gardai, providing Ethan's car license plate, his address and I think phone number. I advised it was late at night and she was being brought up to Dublin in the freezing cold. While I tried to explain the situation to the guard, Ethan was yelling, jumping around my mother who was still standing in the driveway. Ethan unpacked the car, opened my mother's halldoor and got into his car leaving her and her bags in the driveway. The guard advised me he wasn't obligated to take me in the car. I figured it was all over as Ethan had left and told mom, as I'd told her earlier, that she and I could get the train or bus up. I was happy to help get her there. We brought the bags in and I tried to settle my mom and get her a cup of tea to heat up. I figured we could be getting ready to go to bed etc and start early in the morning.
Shortly thereafter Ethan returned. While calmer this time, he was again ensuring she left with him. We all agreed that I could stay in Ronan's house over the night and I tried to get to meet my mother in Dublin as it now turned out she was going to be up there until Monday. Ethan now knew from Ronan that I had to be in work for Monday. They left and I went to Ronan's house in [location redacted], a short stroll away. Some time later Ronan mentioned he could not get mom on the phone. I was now really, really worried because of the cold and the late hour. I sat with it a while and when I too couldn't get her, chatted to my sister Sophie who has witnessed other such incidents like this and we both agreed we couldn't rest knowing mom was taken like that and not knowing whether Ethan would escalate and hit her or more. I was also very worried that she was on the road in what Ethan indicated black ice conditions at that hour of the night.
I contacted Bray Garda station and ended up chatting with Elizabeth, I believe. By this time the shock was hitting, my hands were shaking, my voice too and I was very upset. All I had wanted was to have a chat and cup of tea with my mother and my brother didn't want me doing that. Elizabeth sent a patrol car to my brother's house but there was no sign of it or them. I walked to my mom's house in the Strand and no sign there either. By now I was really, really worried. The Wexford guards made it to my mom's house, thanks to Elizabeth's call for assistance from Bray. We chatted and were in touch with Elizabeth who finally called to say my mother had arrived. They checked physically, chatted to her and it seemed things were okay.
My mother told me the reason they were so late arriving in Bray was that Ethan needed to drive up the Dublin Mountains. She said he was up and around a lot of twisting roads in the Dublin Mountains to see a friend of his, she had met once before. She didn't say why the need was there for him to visit this friend all the way up the Dublin Mountains, on a freezing night with black ice conditions, when she could have been warm in bed. Or, when he was originally in such a hurry to bundle her up and get her to his house in [location redacted]. I ended up chatting with my mother, through Ronan's phone but have been unable to reach her since.
I just want to be able to visit with my mother. My siblings do too. I am sure this situation worries you as it does us. My mother is a strong woman and is able to speak her mind most times. However, Ethan has spent years bullying and breaking her and my father down. There are records with the [location redacted] Garda Station of physical altercations. My mother has also had bruised shoulders and arms at other points. She also visited [name redacted] in [location redacted] with broken bones, likely reported as an accident. She and my father continued to protect Ethan although attempts were made at one point to take out a restraining order against him. My siblings have witnessed far more than I have and again would be happy to back me up as much as they are able. They are all pretty tired of this whole family situation. I want nothing but to be able to spend some of these remaining times with my mother. I also cannot live with myself knowing this is going on and not doing anything about it.
My siblings don't visit her house anymore because of the danger to themselves and their families. My father when he was alive tried to take a barring order against Ethan while Ethan was abroad. But he didn't have the heart to continue. My mother has only a few years left at most. I returned from the USA in the hopes my family and I could spend some time visiting and chatting with her. But I find Ethan, who is constantly on the phone to my mother; somehow ensuring her phones are either turned off or blocked, constantly thwarts my visits or even phone calls when I do succeed in reaching her. Ethan has threatened siblings at their places of employment (one of whom lives in the [country redacted], the other in the [country redacted]) and elsewhere in his attempts to ensure they stay away. I know Ethan will try and track me down where I work and anything in my life so that he can try and thwart me. He's never aimed at me before but I expect once he has the time during the Christmas holidays, he'll start contacting my employer and other areas of my life in an attempt to discredit and embarrass me.
I am going to continue doing what I can to ensure I am able to visit with my mother and that any of my siblings that wish to can do so too. They're tired of the fight, the dysfunction and yes it's painful. I just want to spend the few remaining times with my mother. Even a Christmas would be nice. But Ethan plans to spirit her up to Bray and none of us has been given his address or phone number. I learned of the street address through one of my siblings and walked up and down [location redacted] to locate it. I found it after narrowing it down by description and calling upon one of Ethan's neighbours. I have since provided my siblings with his address and phone number this way we are able to ensure we can contact our mother. However, I'm sure his mobile number will be changed at some point to prevent this.
What can your department do to help me ensure my mother remains physically, financially and emotionally safe in this situation? Action needs to be taken. I plan to ensure it is, that my mother is safe and that I can visit my own mother at her and my discretion and without my brother, the gatekeeper.
I will contact you shortly to see what steps can be initiated here.
It is worthwhile and instructive to take a look at the texts that were flying to and from Saoirse's phone during and after her visit to her mom. Our thanks to Saoirse for making these available:
In the final piece of the "Simple Plan" trilogy, A Simple Plan Part 3, we will do a bit of analysis and provide a few comments on these events.
[Editor's note: Caveat- Consider skipping Part 3. The comments and notes are written with an overview of all the material Dolores-Maxwell.com has been provided with, and perhaps you would prefer to form your own opinions and conclusions without our comments... Our thanks to Anonymous for recently providing information included in Part 3. As always, we welcome and encourage anyone to submit material. Alternative views are also welcomed and encouraged.]